No matter how you try to put it out of your mind you know you won’t be able to totally shake off the fact that your life’s not going to be the same.
For some people divorce is liberating. Years of physical, psychological and emotional abuse will finally come to an end and you’d probably get compensated to some extent for your years of horror.
For others it’s the end of something they cherished and worked so hard to keep together. The only thing you’re coming out with is an empty house which has now become nothing but a constant reminder of defeat.
Divorce can be earth shattering, heart-rending and whether you sit down in tears or suck it all up in pride, you’re going to feel a pang of pain or loss.
If you’re here wondering what will happen in your life after you put your signature down on the divorce papers, this article is just for you. You see, gold becomes pure in the fire and although your future is bright, it’s going to be tough.
But you never get anywhere in life running away from your problems, from your pain or from your bitter truth. Here are 3 truths you have to face as you’re going through a divorce. And hey, I’ve got you covered with the ways to deal with them too.
1. The reality of loneliness is going to hit you hard
At first glance, it looks like the most obvious truth but when you think about how it’ll impact your life you start to see a clearer picture.
This person isn’t going to come back. Depending on what caused your divorce, this is going to be one of reasons for the deep sense of loneliness that you’re going to feel. Being alone can he a harrowing experience, but if handled right it can be empowering.
Staying Strong Formula #1: Self-discovery + self-love = inner strength
It’s a natural response to expect someone to be the source of your strength. Even as a child you’d look up to your family to feel complete. Divorce is going to push you to actually see a different side of you.
Yes, you might have spent a long time in your relationship. But if you use this period of being on your own as a period of self-discovery and self-love you’ll realize that you had more than enough strength to live through the day. It will turn out to be a time you’ll enjoy.
2. In the midst of your pain, you have to be strong for your kids
Kids are usually the worst hit during a divorce. Everything changes so quickly. They sense the sadness and tension that comes from the divorce and they find it difficult to understand why they will not be able to see their other parent as often as they used to. Divorce is as traumatizing for them as it is for you.
While Sara Woodard-Oritz of The HeartFull Journey was going through her painful divorce, she had a kid who was equally going through the divorce with her.
To help her child and herself heal through the divorce, she created the Color Through Divorce coloring book. It’s a “therapeutic activity book to help mom and child through separation and divorce”.
Staying Strong Formula #2: Your child healing = You healing
Just like Sara, you can come up with creative activities that will help you and your child heal through the divorce. Sara used a coloring book and now she shares this with other parents going through a divorce.
You need to show your child your unconditional love and support and let them know that you’ll always be there for them. Use this period as a time to strengthen your ties with yourdon’t have to deal with your pain alone. Together with your child you can form a winning team through the divorce.
3. The compensation may not always be favorable
We have heard stories of how a divorce literally stripped one partner of all the things that they had and left them with nothing. But it doesn’t have to be that way. According to the Blair H. Chan, a Tampa Divorce Lawyer, these things happen when procedures are not carried out right.
“Empathy is key. Divorce is not easy for anyone that’s why it is important ease in and listen, feel and put yourself in their shoes. It is only when you’re all in that you’ll be able to speak powerfully and be the voice to ensure a fair deal.”
Staying Strong Formula #3: Clarity + Proper information + Right Voice = Just deal
What do you want and why? That’s the question you need to ask yourself when you’re going through a divorce. Yes, you may be preoccupied with the loss but there is a future ahead of you that you need to secure.
Arming yourself with the right information you need to ensure that you don’t suffer a huge loss is important. There are so many things at stake in a divorce: your children, a place to stay and upkeep.
Having all this information alone will not get you the favorable results. You also have to get in contact with an expert who can voice out your concerns and needs clearly before the court. You need to realize that it’s more of a legal battle and that’s not your turf.
Source article: http://bit.ly/2t5OzdP
Source author: Vicky law