Trying to juggle a career and motherhood in a two-parent household is difficult enough; it’s even more stressful when you’re doing it alone, and the transition from married to divorced can introduce a host of other chaotic complications.

On the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, a divorce is the second-most stressful life event, second only to the death of a spouse, and when you realize you’re facing divorce, it may seem impossible to keep everything—including your job, your motherly duties, and your own sanity—in order. There is hope, however, if you take control of the situation.

Strategies to Manage a Divorce

With these strategies, you can better manage your divorce while maintaining your career (and still being present as a parent). It won’t be easy, but it will be possible:

Compartmentalize your life.

It’s hard to avoid spillover in the different areas of your life; you might carry the stress of the divorce into the workplace, and start your workday in a frenzy, or inadvertently release some of your frustration by raising your voice with your child.

However, you can mitigate these effects by trying to compartmentalize your life. At the end of the workday, stop thinking about work, and avoid any work-related communication;

it stands as its own entity. When you’re spending time with your child, focus your thoughts on the child, and block out everything else. When you’re working through the divorce paperwork, try not to think about what you’re missing out on with your child or what work you could be doing.

Enlist the services of a good lawyer.

As Rowdy Williams explains, divorce is a complicated legal procedure and you shouldn’t try to navigate those waters alone. The skill and experience of the lawyer you choose will have a direct impact on the final outcome of your divorce, as well as how much stress you experience in the meantime.

Take your time finding the right lawyer, so you can rest easier knowing you’ll be fairly represented, and spend more time working and parenting, rather than wading through documentation.

Attempt to resolve divorce issues as civilly as possible.

Divorces don’t have to be drawn-out, ferocious battles; if both parents are willing to compromise and negotiate, they can actually be handled quite civilly. It takes two parties to make this happen smoothly, but it can happen, and you can be a part of it.

Be willing to compromise on key issues, and avoid provoking fights unnecessarily. If you can come to mutually acceptable terms on your own, you’ll have an easier time managing the divorce, you’ll spend less money on it, and odds are, you’ll come to a more favorable conclusion for both of you.

Author: Natalie Bracco

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