For most beginning anew, whether it be through an introduction, a chance meeting, an old friend who comes a ‘knocking, or online dating sites, the common sigh is that they are quite challenging. We all hope that we can meet someone through a friend. While waiting for that to happen, why not try your luck and have some fun with online dating?
Whichever way the date happens, that first impression is key. Online dating … we have the photos and the profile. Even if you think you’re not ready to date, nothing like the present to start working on it. It’s that elevator pitch that you can use even when accidently bumping into someone new. Think how confident you’ll feel when you are ready.
In today’s world, there are a variety of ways by which the date is made. There is frequent texting taking place over talking. No generalizations made here for gender tendencies, but there is the one note text meets the 200 word count text. In between is the ‘lost in translation’, as therapists put it, projecting the meaning of dinner or a drink. Taking two cars or being picked up, going Dutch or double trouble of double speak.
The first date is easier than the second in many ways. We all know that you make your first impression within the first 10 seconds. You can’t be seen as trying too hard and so the game begins. A little understated in dress while at the same time showing effort. Remember, your date is probably just as anxious or curious as you are. Then there are the questions of where, when and how much do you talk about your previous spouse. Most first dates last an average of 1 ½ hours. Some you want to plan an earlier getaway. After many first dates, you become an expert at the artistry. Second dates can be harder because, wow, you’ve made it to the 2nd, wonder what we need to do to get to number 3 or did I make a mistake and should I have stopped at number 1?
Conversation…what do you talk about? Being able to intuitively keep the conversation going while not being intrusive. For those of us getting back into the world of dating, how much do we ask about the other person, how much do we talk about ourselves? It’s a balancing act and like everything else, each time gets easier.
I started experimenting with online dating in the era of AOL chat rooms and online meetings. That is quite a while ago. During that time, I met some interesting people, some challenging people and have some stories, strange and fun. The balancing act of dating, being a full-time working single mom and trying to keep my sanity is an art that is learned. It’s work, that’s for sure.
Join us on the 19th and hear from our experts on how to express yourself both in words and pictures.
Ronnie Ann Ryan
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan is the author of four books including her most recent Amazon Bestseller Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong.
Jane La Motta
Jane is a professional portrait and event photographer. She has studied various fine art disciplines her entire life. Jane began taking photographs 24 years ago.